I entered my sophomore year of college with a mindset toward independence. I had never believed in soul mates and didn't consider myself a huge romantic, but after pining away for a relationship that never came to anything, I especially hated the idea of vulnerability. I told myself I would resist the longing for a relationship for at least the first semester. I should have remembered the oft repeated line that you find love when you stop looking for it.
On one Monday during the second week of classes, I had three meetings to attend back to back. As I entered the conference room where the first was being held, a young man caught my eye. I don't remember what he said, but he immediately started up a conversation with me. After the meeting, we discussed our academic interests, then parted ways. I ran to my friend's room in a nearby dorm and told her I had "made a new best friend!" A half hour later, I walked to the union to attend my next meeting. He was there (!?) I was pleasantly surprised that we had, yet again, run into each other. Without thinking, I blurted out that he should attend my third meeting, too. He said yes. And that's how I ended up driving a man I had just met to a place off campus in the dark without my glasses. I almost ran us into a ditch, but we escaped at the end of the night unscathed. He told me he'd friend me on facebook and he had by the time I got back to my dorm.
Over the next week, we saw each other almost every day. On the following meeting day, we found a deserted little hill on campus where we began to talk into the early hours of the morning. The month of September was punctuated by three hours conversations with Daniel on the hill. The attraction was not only a physical one, but an intellectual one. From the divorce rate to population control, we agreed on the minutest details. For the first time, I felt this unwavering, calm, certainty that everything would work out. We began dating on September 28, 2008. When I met Daniel, I started to question my distaste for the idea of soulmates.
Three months into our relationship, Daniel sat me down and shyly told me that he had actually seen me on facebook before out first meeting. I had replied favorably to a comment on the note of our mutual friend and he had immediately taken an interest in me. He scoped out my facebook page, read my poetry blog, and checked out the events I was attending so that he could meet me in real life. He couldn't have known, of course, that we would hit it off so well, but I'm glad he took the chance. Maybe the stars hadn't aligned without human intervention, but it still took careful orchestration to get us to where we are.
Today, we've been married for 1 1/2 years. We're still holding great conversation and going on adventures. Relationships take work and the soulmate model often neglects that fact. Could we have made it work in different relationships? Sure. But I still think we're meant to be.
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